Issue 9: Critical Geographic
A eulogy to Science Communication, students continue to rally for Palestine, and life lessons from a dead pet snail
Haere mai, suckers. Welcome to The Lowdown, your weekly round-up of each issue of Critic Te Ārohi.
Whether you’re a current Otago Uni student who couldn’t be bothered walking down the road from their flat to pick up this issue, a nosy alumni who can’t let go of the good old days, or a head-hunting Real Journalist keen to see what the youths are getting up to these days, please enjoy slurping up the latest gossip from the most notorious university student magazine in Aotearoa. We’ve been doing this sh*t for 100 years.
The Lowdown for Issue 9: It’s Critical Geographic! In news, the Otago Students for Justice in Palestine (OSJP) rallied on campus to continue encouraging the University to take a stance; two Critic alumni have been named as finalists for the Voyager Media Awards (announced in May at a “swanky party”); and one student’s upcoming marathon Misogi effort for mental health. In features, Molly Smith-Soppet conceptualises Dunedin if it were Minecraft, lovingly describing the various biomes you would find (spoiler: North Dunedin is The End). In culture, Lotto Ramsay reflects on lessons from their dead pet snail, Tilly Rumball-Smith dishes advice on how to fill the void of the pet you left behind when leaving home, Isabella Simoni recounts a backyard moss exploration, Jodie Evans lists locally produced David Attenborough-esque films and podcasts from the deceased Science Communication course, and Adam Stitely tried to consume ethically for a week (he lasted five days).
The Editorial: Daddy David Made it Look Easy
I’ve spent a lot of time watching documentaries to get into the mindset of the National Geographic issue. It was just a good excuse to reconnect with Daddy David, really. But it made me think about the people behind the documentaries, and how sad it is that the University no longer offers a course for aspiring filmmakers. In my editorial, I reflect on the Science Communication course that didn’t survive the recent round of course cuts at the University, and the hole that it’s left behind. Click the link to read about my own experience giving wildlife film-making a go (hungover bum-shuffling through duck shit in the Botans) and why I think science communication is one of the most noble and important professions. There’s a reason we all love David, and it’s not just that captivating croon.
The Stories
OSJP Rally For Palestine (Again) — Otago Students for Justice in Palestine (OSJP) held another rally for Palestine on Otago University campus on March 16th. Speeches were given by Neave, an organiser for OSJP, and Brandon Johnstone, a member of Staff for Palestine. The rally was the latest in a string of similar events extending back for the better part of a year as the University drags its feet in considering a BDS policy and OUSA’s own BDS “posture” is up for review. (By Hanna Varrs)
Voyagers Roll Red Carpet for Critic Alumni — Two former Critic Te Ārohi editors have been named as finalists for the 2025 Voyager Media Awards: Joel MacManus (2018) and Fox Meyer (2022-2023). Both now based in the Beehive’s Press Gallery and working for The Spinoff and Newsroom respectively, the pair credit Critic Te Ārohi for their success in journalism. Despite their nomination, they share the same Kiwi awkwardness when receiving compliments – admitting to mostly looking forward to the free food and booze at the “swanky” May awards ceremony, where winners will be announced. (By Nina Brown)
A Marathon Effort for Mental Health — Scott Casey-Woolridge (“Scoot” as he’s known by friends) is a fifth-year Otago student who’s planning an utterly insane physical feat for Matariki weekend to raise money for the I Am Hope Foundation (donate here). I Am Hope focuses on mental health, providing aid to young people who are struggling. Driven by his own experiences with mental health and generational trauma, he intends to complete a marathon-length ski, row, bike, and run – all back to back, with “maybe half an hour tops” in between. (By Stella Weston)
The Snippets
Opinion: The OUSA Referendum Has Been Very Poorly Advertised, with even Critic’s own very nosy News Editor feeling out of the loop (By Hanna Varrs)
DOC has confirmed “regular reports of sightings of weka in Dunedin”, not that a very disappointed Critic managed to find (By Zoe Eckhoff)
The Mid-semester Conspiracy That The Clocktower Doesn’t Want You To Know About. Critic goes down the rabbit-hole of envy for our UC brethren’s three-week bender (By Gryffin Blockley)
The Feature: Terrain Generation
The Biomes of Ōtepoti
Here at Critic Te Ārohi, we have reported on 100 years of changing student landscapes, but what about the actual land we stand on? In honour of the release of the great piece of media called A Minecraft Movie, as well as our annual National Geographic issue, we booted up a new world save and asked: What would Dunedin look like as a Minecraft map? From glitched-out infrastructure to illagers (breathas in Peaky Blinders costumes), Ōtepoti is a region of rich terrain, strange customs, and cursed loot drops.
Like any world worth exploring (living in), Dunedin has its own biomes, each with unique survival challenges, resource pools, local mobs, and weather cycles. There are highlands with +5 Frostbite resistance, beach zones buffed by Salt Air Aura, and a Netherworld where your stats drop but your lore points skyrocket.
This is a land where a liveable flat takes second-hand couches, a landlord who communicates exclusively in misspelt slang, and at least one airfryer. A night out involves a minimum of three interactions with opps, endless potions of dizziness, and a respawn at Trojan on the way home for a sloppy kebab.
We’ve also included a few rare achievements to keep an eye out for. Some will test your endurance, while others will net you XP and help you to unlock the hidden emote: “sense of belonging”.
So equip your Adidas Sambas, charge your vape, and bring a spare diamond sword for the walk back from the supermarket.
The sun is setting.
Your heat pump doesn't do shit.
And someone just threw an egg at you.
Welcome to Dunedin. Good luck surviving the semester.
Written by Molly Smith-Soppet
The Culture
Life Lessons from my Dead Pet Snail — Or: The Snegacy
Once a snail fell from the sky and it taught me about love. “Fell from the sky” is a fanciful way of saying that I dropped him by mistake when I found him in my kitchen sink. I thought that he was a clump of mince, he was so small back then, and when I picked him up I realised that his shell was badly broken. A large fragment came away in my trembling hands, but the poor creature seemed blissfully unaware of the death sentence it had just suffered. He was barely one centimetre long and resilient, moist; unbothered. I knew what had to be done.
Google: how to look after a VERY talented snail?
Google: broken snail shell repair diy
This is a story about one Snegma “Sneg” Ramsay (Snegory to my parents).
Written by Lotto Ramsay
ANIMALS?!?!?!? How to have pets as a student. Kind of.
Kiwis own more pets per household than almost anyone else in the world, so it comes as a bit of a culture shock to leave that behind for studenthood. Many of us grew up with household pets who, unfortunately, remained in the household when we moved out. Without us realising, our final year of high school would be the last time we lived with our beloved furry friends. At least, until we have a stable job and can own a house instead of flatting. Neither of these things appear to be happening anytime soon in this economy, so here’s a list of ways to have pets in Dunedin while you’re struggling through your degree.
Written by Tilly Rumball-Smith
The True Cost of Ethical Consumption
Inspired by a rewatch of Food, Inc. (2009), the god-given right to shit on Nestlé, and an attempt to offset years of Fatty Lane-sponsored staff meals, Critic Te Ārohi spent five days living as an Ethical Consumer – cutting out anything even vaguely unethically sourced. Despite our best intentions, it turns out ethical consumption is harder than it looks. And there actually is such a thing as too many potatoes.
Written by Adam Stitely
Backyard Ecology: A Semi-Scientific Journey into the World of Moss
When you think about the natural world, it tends to be the big things: animals, forests, the ocean. In Aotearoa New Zealand, we’re brainwashed on bird propaganda. But what about the flora that provide the foundation of life for these fauna? They’re the backstage crew that keeps the whole environmental show running. Deciding that birds have had more than enough air time (pun intended), I sought to learn a little more about moss. I’m no expert – I know almost nothing about it. I am, however, quite the expert of admiring pretty green things, especially when they come in shiny plastic baggies. Surely this couldn’t be much different? For the sake of half (or maybe even quarter)-assed science, I risked my camera, dodgy ankles, and shiny Doc Martens in the quest to be an ecologist for the day.
Written by Isabella Simoni
Locally Produced David Attenboroughs: A Guide
Looking for your next Attenborough fix but want something local? Check out the babies of Otago Science Communication grads and alumni. With a cheeky behind-the-scenes “brought to you by” to let you in on the highs and lows of bringing science to the people. If Nina’s editorial is a eulogy to the department, consider this its memorial. Sit back, grab some popcorn and curse tertiary cuts.
Written by Jodie Evans
The Centrefold
The centrefold artwork, a painting of St Kilda, is by Emma Millburne, an Otago University student who’s on a mission to paint 100 of her favourite places in Dunedin. You can follow her journey via Instagram (@ekmvirtualstudios).
The Columns
From the Archives: Everything You Need to Know About Magic Mushrooms (1998)
Local Produce: Ammonita by Jonathan McCabe
In The Cage: All Caught Up by Jordan Irvine
Mi Goreng Graduate: Scroggin Slice by Ruby Hudson
Booze Review: Victoria Bitter by Sabrina Barpunter
OUSA Column: Send Us Your Questions by Liam White
Debatable: Do rats make good pets? by Hunter Jolly & Nina Brown
The Horoscope: Taurus
As the bull of the zodiacs, you are often seen as temperamental and quick to judge but this week you are just a big softy. Life has been taking it out of you lately and sometimes you just want a hug. Just remember that it's weird to hug strangers…
Susty activity rec: Try dying old clothes with veggies
It’s Taurus season until May 20th! Not a Taurus? Click the button below to find out your horoscope.
That’s all for this week, folks!
Chur (formally),
Nina Brown / Mrs Critic
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